Sunday, November 10, 2013

finding joy.

as rifle opener approached us, i was nervous at the fact that nick would be leaving for a few days.  the week seemed to move faster than usual and i could feel myself rushing, my energy crumbling.  three things occurred this week that played part in my weakened heart and as tears found there way to my eyes i remembered telling myself that it will all soon pass like it usually does.  i dug deep for patience and i dug even deeper for a type of love that i needed to give myself like i never have before.

i don't need to go into detail about the things that made me wish the week would end because i'm positive there are others out there who are going through the same thing.


after all, i'm just one heart.  we all have stories to tell and passions to share and we were created to do just that.  i don't want to sit here with crushed confidence just because something didn't work out the way i wanted to when there are a million other things that can bring me joy.  a 30 second voice mail completely crushed what i thought was becoming my dream.  i felt weak, i felt alone, and i felt like god was giving up on me.  it made me think about hard times where i had no idea who i was or what i wanted.  one voice mail.  30 seconds in length.  my heart was broken.

i decided to toss the negative talk and to start digging for the little bit of fire that rests in my chest.  all of the doubts were turning me into something i'm not and once i actually thought about it, that voice mail had nothing to do with my hopes and dreams what so ever but the fact that i had been turned down made me feel unworthy and made my confidence hide.  guess what?  life goes on and symptoms subside and if we can find it in our hearts to just keep going, one little sentence will show you that there is still a chance to take that first step forward and sometimes, that's all we need.

whatever it is you've deemed your biggest weakness may very well be your greatest strength.

i will no longer pretend to be something i'm not.  i cannot fear the things that are out of my control.  i will not be disappointed by failures or struggles or having a heart that's more sensitive than most.  i'm choosing to believe that my weaknesses will open opportunity for me and until then, the only thing i can do is continue to use the little fire inside of me to brighten a strangers day, to warm a heart, and to work towards building strength in the girl i am now, in this very moment.

i'll be thankful for my family.

i will adore my time outdoors.

i will encourage veggies.

i'll find beauty in an empty house with no one to talk to.

i'll be filled with warmth from the smallest joys.

and i'll smile at myself for pushing through a difficult week and loving the little moments that make me want to be better and to never ever quit.

change your thoughts today and you will change your entire world.   

linking up with:

Sami's Shenanigans


  1. Hello! Just wanted to say that I found you from the link up, and I really like your blog.

    Good for you for having that positive outlook! Sometimes we do go through heart break and disappointment, but maybe it's all for the greater good. I don't know, but I'd like to think the negative things in life are preparing us for something great (whatever that may be).

    New follower. :) happy Monday!

    1. You are absolutely right! Thanks for stopping by, I'm so glad you did!