back at it.

i'm home, i feel completely rejuvenated. and i'm ready for a fresh start.  there is no more wedding to plan, no more people to contact (besides thank you cards of course), and no more decisions to make weeeohh i am so thankful!  

after a wonderful honeymoon and forgetting about all of the wedding and other stress in my life, it feels great to be back home and ready to really go after it!  by this i mean it's time to buckle down and find a full time job and really start focusing on my health, my eating, and a new fitness plan.  i've always made my health a top priority but after a honeymoon filled with desserts, fruity drinks, and yummy food, my body needs a total clean up!  i don't like to use the term 'cleanse' because i don't necessarily believe in them and i think some cleanses actually do more harm to your body than good.  if you have, however, tried a cleanse that you love i would love to hear about it!  i'm using the phrase "clean up" because that is exactly what i plan on doing.  i'm going to clean up my eating, change up my fitness routine, and clean up my mindset on any past thoughts i've had about not being able to get where i want to be.  

nick and i talked about it on our honeymoon and he is going to join me.  his support completely motivates me and by him committing to this shows me how much he truly cares.  he is definitely not a health nut like me but he's going to give up pop and workout with me (more than just our saturday morning bike rides) through this process and when he told me this my heart about melted.  he builds houses and works extremely long days so by him committing to a fitness plan with me takes a lot of heart and commitment.

maybe you would like to join me as well!

 “Patience child, patience. Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there’d be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you’ll see these “setbacks” as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you’ll surely find the treasure that you seek.” ~ Jackson Kiddard

here are my goals.  for 30 days i'm going to:

• eat extremely clean.  no refined sugars, no processed foods, no meat, and no alcohol.  i'm even going as far as giving up peanut butter so that i can motivate myself to branch out a little bit when it comes to meals and snacks.  too often i find myself making toast with pb and banana, having an apple with peanut butter or basically anything i can find that will mix well with it, and i'm just so tired of it blehh.  i'm also going to give up adding anything to my coffee (cream, splenda, etc.), which are usually made with corn syrup solids and hydrogenated oils (harmful trans fats).
• focus focus focus during my workouts.  i'm going to keep doing cardio 3-4 days a week.  strength train 2 times per week and do yoga once or twice as well.  not just 15 minutes of it here and there but really digging in for 45-60 minutes to improve my strength, my flexibility, and my mind.
• through out these 30 days, my main goal is to rid my body of toxins both physically and mentally.  everybody needs a fresh start sometimes and i figure since i have a new last name now, why not start now?  this isn't about losing weight or dieting.  it's about truly listening to my body, eating intuitively, writing down goals and following through with them, and easing my mind into a whole new lifestyle.  after the 30 days is up i will continue to set goals and follow the program, but i will be more open to allowing myself treats and not caring if i miss a workout or two.  but as far as the first 30 days go, it will be pure discipline.

i'm so excited.  i'm so so excited!  i want to breathe in every moment during this time because it's a time of change.  embracing change is one thing i've learned to accept and when you know it's going to better yourself in the long run the hard days (cardio and cravings) wont seem as tough.  rather than focusing on appearances and perfecting every single thing we do, it is important that we focus on our dreams, commit ourselves to what is important in our lives, and bringing real value into them each and every moment, and that is what i would like these next 30 days to be for me.

i apologize if my blog turns into a complete exercise, nutrition, and health home for the next 30 days, but blogging about this will help keep me motivated and keep my priorities in line.  (i'm also a little excited to take pictures of nick doing this with me as well...him on a cardio machine is just too funny for me and my camera to pass up).  i'll try to make sure to write in some other good stuff as well! 

i hope you set goals today.  high goals, almost unattainable goals, and ones that put that happy little heart of yours to work.  and with it, every part of it, i hope you find joy!

Safety First. Maybe? Please?

I'm getting a little too comfortable here and I think Monday is going to come too fast.  Every minute away has been so refreshing and Nick and I have continued to learn about one another, laugh with each other, and eat meals as if we are some sort of royal couple and oh how sweet it is.

I would post pictures from Thursday, however, it seriously might go down as the Honeymoon Day from Hell.  No pictures, but lots and lots of memories that we will be able to share forever.  Let me explain.

Nick and I wanted to have a day where we went to another resort and did all sorts of activities.  We chose Thursday, the day it happened to be EXTRA gloomy and EXTRA rainy.  We figured we would get over there and it might get canceled and we could reschedule.  Nope.  These resort people must reallyyy want their money because there is no way we should have been out in the ocean in those conditions.  I'm talking huge rollers, the darkest sky I've ever seen, and raindrops bigger than golf balls.  We were pretty much in a full on tropical thunderstorm.  But let's go snorkeling shall we?

Sure, why not.  I've never been snorkeling to begin with and I'm telling you the honest truth when I say it's one of my biggest fears.  I have this severe problem with life under water (mostly sharks), and I have been that way since I was little.  I really wanted to face my fears and just go since I figured Nick would be next to me the whole time.  I went.  I shook like a scared little puppy.  And I swallowed a gallon of salt water as I tried to survive each wave that hit us.  The minute the man said 45 minutes was up and we had to head back to the boat (oh yesss, we swam 500 feet away from it), I swam my trembling little self as fast as I possibly could back to the boat.  I was the first one in the boat and I was NOT going back in the water.  But I did it and I really did try to make the most of it.

Next up was ATV's.  Again, we thought they might cancel it since it was still pouring and still dark as night.  They gave us helmets and told us to hold on as tight as we could.  These people, wowzaaa!  Nick drove, thank the LORD.  I will say that it beat snorkeling by about 100 points but it might be the most dangerous thing I had ever done.  Four wheeling in a tropical storm through a rough jungle jumping rocks and diving through puddles at 25 mph was kiiiind of fun, but the rain was hitting my face so hard I couldn't see to enjoy much of it.  We laughed and Nick and the rest of the people could hardly keep up with the employee that was leading the group and I was hoping we didn't get lost or get rolled oofta!

The last activity we had signed up to do was speed boats.   The clouds got bigger, the rain got even harder, and I really just wanted to go home (or at least stay on land).  We couldn't get our money back, however, so we decided to make the best of it.  The boats fit two people and they were way smaller than your typical fishing boat.  Nick drove again, thank goodness.  We followed a line in the ocean and OH MY GOSH never ever EVER again will you catch me out there like that.  Remember when I said my biggest fear is snorkeling?  That immediately changed when we started jumping 10 feet waves (I'm not kidding) and almost completely drowning for 45 minutes.  And remember when I said that four wheeling was probably the most dangerous thing I've ever done.  Nu uhhh...speed boating in a monsoon takes the cake on that one.  All I remember was the rain hitting my body so hard, the water splashing in my face even harder, and seeing big white waves tumble towards me every single second.  I was holding on for dear life and was crying so so loud.  I wish we would have had a video camera because I'm sure we would have won some sort of prize.  Nick said my face showed pure terror and my cry was one he had never heard (I for sure had the ugly face, can hardly breath, shaking anxiety attack type of cry), and he felt completely helpless.  It was the longest 45 minutes of my life but it eventually ended.  I jumped out of our tiny little boat and looked directly at the man who was leading the pack and he laughed really hard and said "a little rough huh?"...I just said "yes, a little" and swam to shore only to get down poured on once again.

As we sat and waited for our ride back to our hotel we laughed because it was by far the worst yet most expensive day of our honeymoon.  I am proud of us for trying to make the most out of each activity but they should really let you cancel if you don't think it's safe enough to go.  We laughed about it all the whole night, however, and it ended up being a great day.  The sun came out before dinner, we drank chocolate martinis, and ate the best grilled sea bass I have ever tasted.

Friday was breakfast:

seeing these little beauties!

and catching a little bit of sun and the health bar for the afternoon.

I hope your week has been wonderful and you have all stayed dry and safe!  We have two days left here and I wish there was more.  I am definitely missing iced coffee, my gym, my family, and friends a whole bunch but like I said, time away with my new husband is so wonderful!  Happy Saturday!

things i'm loving.

 

post workout drink.  i only like it in chocolate GIVE ME CHOCOLATE.

 

 boots.

 small bowls with lots of color.

my center pieces.  they add soft and sweet decoration to our empty home.

rachel bilson.  mostly i just want her hair.

this right here. 

i have read this article over and over for almost two weeks now and i always am finding something new and something that will better each of my days.

another awesome circuit workout.

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.”

wedding part one.

it was 6:00 AM and my body was too anxious to lay in bed any longer.  i looked at my phone and found several text messages wishing me a happy and wonderful day and my heart began to beat in pure gratitude for all of the great people in my life. all of the planning was done, all of the lists were completely crossed off, and i took one deep breath as I got out of my bed for the last time with the name i grew up with. i sat at my computer and looked at every single thing i've ever written about nick and between the memories i pictured, the songs that continued to play over in my head, and the thought of him actually becoming my husband everything all of a sudden became very real.   and it was.   our wedding day was everything i imagined it to be and while i don't have many pictures back yet, i was able to get a few throughout the day for blogging purposes weeeahh! 

i reallyyyy wanted to have a big breakfast the morning of because i knew i wouldn't eat much all day but when your body is that excited and your happy nerves are dancing all over the place i knew i would be lucky if i got two bites down.  and i was right.

 

even though breakfast was a complete fail i believe these two things are what truly saved me (and maybe the panera bagel i inhaled around lunch time).  i have never drank so much water in one day EVER.

 

and since i am currently sitting in the airport about to board the plane for our honeymoon, i only have time for a couple actual wedding pictures!  i will have lots of love posts coming soon though i promise!  

before the ceremony...

after...

and after a day filled with smiles, laughter, tears, drinks, dancing, hellos, good byes, and manyyy fun reception activities...a peaceful morning with my husband which filled my heart with joy.

so far so good.  it was a very exciting but stressful nine months and i'm looking forward to some time away with nick.  but before we take off i'd like to leave you all with a piece of marriage advice (ya know...since i've only been married, what, 40 hours...)  

actually, this piece of advice is from my mom which she gave to me in a letter she wrote for me to open on the morning of our wedding day and it is that as long as you love one another and love deeper and deeper every single day, you will be happy no matter what.  

while love can seem like a complicated thing, i was reminded that it really doesn't have to be as long as we love and give a lot of it all of the time.  it is watching my parents all of these years and reading her words that morning that helped me realize this and i will carry it with me always.  let love be the center of everything you do.  not just in marriage, but in all your life. 

life is too short.

it was a wonderful weekend.  the humidity is finally gone and it was nice to be outside with the ability to breathe and walk around.  i love the heat, but whoa...96 degrees?  uh uhhh. 

i worked on our final wedding decorations and it feels so good to have them almost finished.  i feel like i have been painting/shopping/cutting/gluing for five months.  

As the weekend passed, there were a few times where I found myself stressing and the stressing caused me to be anxious and the anxiousness eventually caught up with my emotions annnnd...I broke down.  Again.  Just once though, thankfully.  

I tried to forget about everything I had to do and tried to let go of every expectation everyone has for this wedding.  I started noticing that I was more focused on pleasing other people when in the end all I really want to do is marry Nick and share this love that we have had from day one.  This all hit me when I happened to notice Nick writing letters to all of his groomsmen.  He slowly wrote on each card and I my eyes secretly teared up when I saw him look up at me as if he knew exactly how I was feeling and his slow smile reminded me that everything is going to be okay.  I realized two things in that moment.  1. Everything IS going to be okay and 2. Life is too short to spend time worrying about so many things.

Which brings me here:  Life is too short...

to be negative.
to be stressed.

to think that perfect always exists.

to care about everyone's opinion of you.

to be living somebody else's dream.

to not be curious.

to not let someone inspire you.

to not inspire someone.

to be at a constant war with yourself.

In an intellectual sense, we all know that life is short. But how many of us actually live our day to day lives like we’re really going to die one day?  I was reminded this weekend that life is too short for many many things and whether we spend time fighting each day or loving them like crazy, hours are going to pass no matter what.  This week is going to fly for me and rather than spending minute after minute stressing about each and every task and responsibility, I should have gratitude towards every heart, every congratulations, and each moment that occurs in the next 72 hours because come Friday I'll be happy no matter what.  I hope you can set aside stress this week and live life to the fullest!  

I'm going to go buy a bottle of wine now.  Wine is happy and happy is meeee!!

 

listen to your body.

besides my obsession with turbokick, i did get in two strength training workouts this week which were a nice little change.  they were around 25 minutes a piece which actually was perfect since i feel like i have been running around like a crazy person trying to be wedding productive.

in regards to strength training and working out in general i want to share something with you.  i was at they gym on thursday morning and i felt so energized and motivated but my body was a little sore so i decided i just wanted to lift lighter weights and treated the day more like a rehab day for my body more than anything. 

i was still so happy to be there.  happy enough that i didn't even put my head phones in as i was so content just listening to absolutely nothing.  it wasn't very busy so it was almost as if i really wasn't hearing much of anything except an occasional treadmill here and there.  after about 10 minutes into my work out i was doing some bicep curls with 12 lbs.  a man walked by and started up a conversation with me and what he said made me wish i would have been listening to my iPod rather than having empty ears which was more or less an open invitation for him to talk to me.  i don't need to list everything that he said but it mostly centered around this:

• i needed to lift heavier weights
• i needed to stand against a wall to make it more difficult
• i should try cross fit
• my 'workout' plan for the day wasn't productive enough and i should probably just stick to the one he told me to do instead
  

i thanked him for his advice and tried to move along and continue my workout.  i put my weights down and went over to do my second round of 3 circuit push-ups.  i started to breathe heavier and became irritated because i started telling myself things like, "maybe i should be lifting heavier weights,"  "maybe i shouldn't have had a rehab day,"  and of course this question had to come to mind..."if he is telling me that my workout today isn't good enough how am i ever going to create effective plans for clients?" 

i stood up and went for my second round of bicep curls.  this time i grabbed 17.5 lb weights and continued on.  i did not want to be lifting that amount.  it was heavy and i did not want to stand against a wall.  and within seconds i just wasn't having a good time anymore.  i felt uncomfortable because i felt as if he was watching me and critiquing everything that i did.  i put my weights down and reminded myself why i was there in the first place:  rehab day.  i wanted to go put my head phones in to hide myself from his comments but i just couldn't.  i wasn't going to be afraid of him like that.  i put the heavier weights back on the rack and grabbed the lighter weights and looked up the original workout i had planned in my phone and finished it with a smile on my face.  he walked by a few more times during that time and tried telling me things and i just continued to thank him but told him i didn't need his help.  i was content doing the workout i wrote out for myself and ya know what, it felt good to say that.

my point is this.  it is so so important that we listen to our bodies when we live active lifestyles.  i had already had 3 hard workouts that week and my body was telling me that it wanted weights, but wanted them in light doses.  it doesn't matter that everyone else there was lifting more than me and it doesn't matter if one person thinks there idea or plan is better for you because actually the only person that knows whats best for your body is you.  whether you run 30 miles a week or jog once or whether you bench press 150 pounds compared to just the bar, never ever feel intimidated by others at the gym.  they don't know what you did prior to that workout or what you have planned for the rest of the week.  if i know that i'm not going to work out for a few days, i push myself hard during that final workout.  if i get in a funk and am just too lazy to do anything there, sometimes i sit on a yoga mat and talk with co-workers instead of pushing my body over its limits.  you know you best and there is only one person that can judge you and i promise you that he loves you just the way you are. 

i hope that when i post workouts on my blog you take parts of them that you love and do them and i hope you ditch the parts you hate.  if i write down 25 reps of something and you want to do 10, great!  if you want to do 30, awesome!  it is never my intent to push you further than you can go or not push you hard enough.  they are just workouts that i love to do and love to share and i never want to make you feel inadequate for either not doing them or disagreeing with them.  as long as your being you 100% of the time, that is what counts!!  the 17.5 lb dumbbell curls were not me that day and as soon as i realized that, my workout ROCKED!

happy sweating!