according to my iphone.

trying to bring out the inner artist in me and paint my table numbers.  

new town, new stores, and ring shopping for nick.   

i woke up wednesday feeling awful...soup is the only thing i've eaten in two days which makes me pretty sad on such beautiful summer nights.  

a little thank you card action via instagram.   

there is nothing better than frozen yogurt on a monday night and this plaaace...well just look at nick.  

photography location for my wedding day, which by the way is in 34 DAYS!!

i write about tears and i write about turning points.

Neglect, indifference, forgetfulness, ignorance are all impossible to God.  He knows everything.  He cares about everything.  And He loves us.  My eyes repeatedly read these words tonight.  Sometimes I find myself searching for answers about my past that I thought I had let go of a long time ago.  I feel a heaviness upon me that's trying to force out perfection.  I feel a coldness that's making me feel pressure in an uncomfortable way.  The aches are finding their way back to my neck and I try to breath slowly and remind myself that I have nothing to fear.  I read again, "Neglect, indifference, forgetfulness, ignorance are all impossible to God.  He knows everything.  He cares about everything.  And He loves us." 

He loves me.  As a child, I felt this constant pressure to be perfect.  I felt like I needed to always do the right thing in order to be a good person.  I did my very best to please the people around me and because of it I was a very good daughter, student, and player.  But all of those things started to tear at me when I wasn't impressing those around me.  I felt as though loving something for the sake of loving it or having an interest in something different would be frowned upon and so I ignored my constant passion for words, traveling, and creations of many sorts. 

Two days ago I had a lot on my mind but I wasn't entirely sure how to speak it because I thought that telling the one person I loved what my true passions were would once again not be good enough.  I reminded him again of my insecurities and mentioned how I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to live up to what I'm supposed to be.  Tears rolled down my face as I apologized. He asked me two things.  First he asked me to breathe, and then he asked me what I was apologizing to him for?  "There is nobody in this world that you need to impress but you," he spoke quietly.  I looked at him completely confused by my own self because I really had no idea why I was apologizing.  I wasn't sorry about my past.  I wasn't sorry about my insecurities.  And I wasn't at all sorry that I had set such high expectations for myself that I never reached.  Never is the key word in this sentence because it's a word that I never should have used.  With a more positive meaning, I should have said that I'm not sorry about setting such high expectations for myself that I haven't yet accomplished.  Haven't, as in, I'm still working on it and I have nothing but time to keep at it. 

This life I live and this life that you live is merely a moment that is waiting for you to reach whatever expectations you set for yourself at the very right time for you and only you.  It is waiting for you to cry so that the person that loves you can remind you that trying to be everything is going to make you completely lose your mind.  That the pressure you feel every once in awhile is your past self reminding you to be better, be kinder, and be stronger than you were during that time.  As I cried, I was expecting myself to never get past that feeling of uncertainty that laid over me yet within seconds his warm eyes reminded me that I make him proud and that is truly enough.  I don't ever want to rely on anyone else to build my self esteem, however, if there is one person that can remind me that it's not about being perfect, but rather, being present, I find myself being able to once again, dream those dreams I had always tried to hide and it felt so so wonderful.  I said my goals aloud.  I gave him a thank you kiss.  And I sang at the top of my lungs while the cloudy sky turned pink and the humid air became completely breathable.

a wedding weekend...sort of.

Saturday was my bachelorette party...and it was so much fun!  My weekend started by some friends coming into town for a typical Friday night at a local bar with country music and of course, beer.

I wish I would have taken more pictures but I forgot  my phone at home and was sharing with Nick.

Saturday started out with a bridal shower on the Lake with lots of good food and drinks.  I got to see friends that I haven't seen in so long and I was so incredibly touched by all of their gifts and advice.  The shower games were fun, creative, and crude and I couldn't have asked for a better day.  (My Maid of Honor is THE BEST and she is one of the most creative and crazy girls I know and when you mix the two...good things always always happen!!

After the shower, we had dinner reservations and then it was off to the hotel where we played lots of games, got all dressed up, and mixed a lotttt of beverages yeeeesh!

Our limo arrived at 8:30 to take us to all sorts of places downtown, and that was that, one of the best nights everrrr!

It was loud and crazy and messy and everything that a bachelorette party should be.  It was perfect and we all survived!

And since it's the beginning of the week and it's back to real life again, here's a little Motivation Monday for you all.

total body.

10 minute elliptical increasing the level each minute or so....  :)

super sets of the following:

single arm row 3x15
tricep dip on bench 3x12

kettlebell swings 3x20
kettlebell dead lifts 3x15

laying down chest fly with dumbbells 3x15
incline chest press with dumbbells 3x15

reverse lunges with barbell 3x15
shoulder raise with dumbbells 3x15

calf raises with barbell 3x15
push-ups 3x15 (regular or on your knees)

10 minute core work

5 minute stair stepper cool down and stretch

happy happy saturday!!

exercising my body, my mind, and my soul.

i sit here in my empty house.  it's finally clean and if you ignore the collection of college things it's finally starting to feel like an actual grown up home.  i spent the morning completing all of the things that i have continued to put off since we moved in.  it almost feels too clean and i believe the silence is playing a small part in that.  it's darker than usual and the rain seems to be creating a large painting on the windows.  i decided to rest and be proud of what i've accomplished for the day.  i poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down to filter out my thoughts because some words were running through my head as i was playing maid.  i was thinking a lot about my thursday afternoon.  why wasn't i working?  why can't i seem to find a full time job that makes me happy?  questions continued to arise and before i could become frustrated with myself i started naming the things out loud that drive me.  i listed everything from my family to nick to my friends and suddenly i stopped the vacuum and realized i was standing in the one room of our house where we seem to throw everything we don't know what to do with.  it's cluttered yet empty.  its white walls were screaming inspiration to me and out of no where i listed the three things that i've learned that motivate me which are exercising my body, my mind, and my soul.  sometimes we don't realize what we were put on this earth to do until we accept the things that we were not meant for.  i am not meant to sit at a desk and calculate numbers.  i am not meant to be a sales person and i'm not meant to be a teacher and all of this has driven me completely crazy for so long because i've prayed and prayed to just want a normal job like one of those.  while i've always known that these are my interests they have never seemed to find themselves in the 'career' part of my heart which is a shame because i'm driven by creativity, words, helping others, pictures, design, and anything that's empty.  whether it's an empty wall that i can fill with photos, an empty page that i can fill with words, or an empty heart that i can fill with joy, all of these things make me feel complete.  once i accepted this and let go of every made up dream of desk jobs and traffic, i made a list of all of the jobs that will allow me to not only be successful but happy as well.  it's amazing what time alone in an empty house can do for you.  i have always believed that each person was made to do something incredible.  my parent's have provided me with what it takes to work hard, be disciplined, and set goals.  i have all of these qualities i have just been working towards the wrong goals; goals that i am not made for.  if we can take the hard work, the will to do right, and high goals and use them in a way that best fits us and no one else, our dreams will come true.  having dreams is a true sign of wanting what's right in your heart.  

do i mean dreams as in crazy, high up, far away, unique, creative, and completely heartfelt? 

yes, i absolutely do.

every summer has a story.

every girl dreams of a certain time in her life and that time is when she meets a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.  

let me correct myself.  every girl dreams of TWO times in her life and the second one is when she realizes that the summer where it all began becomes planning the day where their lives will begin together.  

my summer story started last year when i moved home from North Dakota and back to my home town.  i met up with some old high school friends one night and that is really the time when everything started between nick and i.  

we met, we went fishing at 4 am, and we spent almost every night together since.  nick has always encouraged me to be myself and he has taken me places that i've never been.  his laid back personality is calming to me yet he is always up for anything (dancing in the middle of a dirt road by the river is one of my favorite memories with him).  it only took me about one date with this boy to realize how thankful i was that i moved home.  

this past Sunday marked our one year anniversary and it was perfect.  he woke me up at 7 am and took me on a 15 mile bike ride!  it was beautiful outside and such a relaxing morning.  we made breakfast, i headed out to work for the afternoon, and we ended our anniversary at the place where our relationship began:  the lake.

annnnd of course some good old selfies for yaa!  ;)

building a relationship and keeping it strong:

one of the best parts of my relationship with nick is how strong our relationship was on day 1 and how strong it is currently despite the one year of time that has passed.  when i first met him and began my relationship with him there was nothing that fulfilled an emptiness in my heart like the 'first love feelings.'  it was new and exciting and different.  over time we got to know one another, we grew together, and one year passed and guess what?  it's still new and exciting and different.  of course relationships are about learning and accepting but there is absolutely no reason why they can't stay fun and exciting and strong.  

 here are some ways to do so:

 1.  set goals together

2.  dance together

3.  walk together

4.  always always always support him/her

5.  take lots of pictures

6.  travel 

7.  schedule dates near or on water.  it's relaxing and even the same view 100 times can always look and feel different

8.  say 'i love you' more than one time per day

9.  tell them they are your best friend more than one time per day

10.  let God be the center of your relationship 

i hope your week is going fabulous!! 

-elizabeth jane.

catching up.

this week flew by!  i was reminded how thankful i am to have a job even though it may not be my 'dream job'.  i'm starting to wonder if that even exists for a person like me anyways.  i mean, of course it does...we were all put on this earth for a special purpose, it's just hard when i enjoy so many things!  i think i've started to narrow it down a bit, however, i'm trying to focus on one thing at a time.

which brings me back to here:  finding balance.

i believe that in each of us there lies a good and a bad.  a happy and sad.  a joy and a doubt.  a struggle and a success.  a light and a dark.  there are moments that i wish i could go back in time and remove all of the hard times in my life but i believe that if that were possible, the good things would disappear as well.  i do my very best to take things as they come (good and bad) and accept them and use them to learn and to change me and ultimately push me to the next page in my story.  i hold them deep in my heart as memories and visit them often but i also keep an open mind for the next things to come.  finding balance does not mean changing everything you do so you can be exactly like the next person.  it doesn't have to mean cutting out foods you love and juicing.  it doesn't mean keeping a diary or making lists.  and it definitely doesn't mean comparing yourself and your life to others.  finding balance is when you just take a couple of minutes to ask yourself what it is that makes your heart beat.  what on this earth makes you smile and bring positivity to your life and the people around you.  i try to treat every day as a gift to unwrap and while doing so i continue to ask myself if this day will be a life changing one.

i'm beginning to find that the days i set aside time to compare myself to nothing more than my thoughts about who i am are the days that do just that, completely change my life.

my favorites this week!

i have a new love for strength training.  i'll admit it, it took me awhile to reallyyy love it (i was the cardio queen!)  but after a month or two of really taking the time to lift weights and lift them properly, my body has never felt stronger.  my goal is to strength train 4 times a week for the next month (i'm at about 3 times right now).
 

my workout of choice before my work days this week (i walked and biked to and from work for some cardio).  It's amazing what nice weather and no gym can do for your soul..and your bodyy!

push-ups:  3x15

squats with 10 lb dumbbells:  3x25

tricep push-ups:  (as many as possible on knees 3x)

30 alternating lunges 3x

tricep dips on char 3x15

jumping jacks 3x60

squat jumps 3x25

lunge hold with bicep curl 3x15

front kicks 3x25

fire hydrants 3x25 each leg

core work to two songs.

 my go to snack...iced coffee with skim milk and cashews.  makes my bike trips a little more interesting!

 new hair cut gahhh i just wish i had someone to do my hair every single day.  i'm such a "hair thrown on top of head" type of girl.  put it up and go is my kind of style!

last night was great.  after a long week for both nick and i, we went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant in town and  listened to a band on the patio.  we sat there and talked for over two hours and the night was perfect.  i'm getting married in a month and a half and everything is starting to feel so so real.  planning a wedding  can be extremely stressful and often times can get the best of my emotions, but it's nights like these that i'm reminded of what my wedding day is actually going to be about:  starting my life with the one person that in my entire life has made me feel complete.  my smile is bigger, my heart is fuller, and the truest part of myself comes out whenever he is around and to be completely honest with you, i actually adore who i am in those moments.  we drove home last night and took a walk around our neighborhood after 11:00 PM.  it was dark and quiet and even though there were a million stars in the sky above us, i felt like we were the only ones they were shining on.  we laid on the sidewalk and he held my hand and thanked me for a perfect night.  i closed my eyes and prayed because it is moments like these where God is blessing me, loving me, and making me never ever want to give up.